Teleportation, aliens and cancer-busting soda - it’s not just Trump going cuckoo, his officials are too | Arwa Mahdawi

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People often criticise nan Democrats for being overly cautious and ne'er getting thing done. But this week they’ve amazed america each by unveiling concepts of a scheme for getting Donald Trump retired of nan White House.

On Tuesday House Democrats introduced legislation that would create a committee to measure whether Trump is unfit to service and should beryllium removed nether nan 25th amendment. I don’t request to show you what precipitated this: Trump is growingly progressively erratic, threatening genocide 1 infinitesimal and posting pictures of himself arsenic Jesus Christ nan next.

Don’t get your hopes up, nan measure is simply a agelong changeable successful a Republican-controlled Congress. Nevertheless, it’s still a affirmative improvement and demonstrates a increasing appetite successful Congress to talk astir nan president’s intelligence acuity. Or deficiency thereof.

While nan authorities is simply a bully start, I deliberation it could spell further. Why not require cognitive and psychological tests for everyone successful government? Because it’s not conscionable Trump who seems to beryllium a small spot disconnected his rocker, is it? The US is being tally by a bunch of group pinch immoderate very interesting ideas. And I usage “interesting” successful nan British sense of nan word.

Take, for example, Gregg Phillips, a apical charismatic astatine nan Federal Emergency Management Agency (Fema). Phillips has espoused predetermination fraud conspiracy theories and said that “bitch” Joe Biden deserves to die, which isn’t peculiarly astonishing for a Trump official. What is unusual, however, are his claims that he erstwhile involuntarily teleported to a Waffle House successful Rome, Atlanta.

How precisely did that happen? He’s not sure. But Phillips did insinuate that nan Waffle House hash brownish bowls weren’t worthy nan journey. “Teleporting is nary fun,” Phillips said successful podcast remarks uncovered by CNN last month. “It’s nary nosy because you don’t really cognize what you’re doing. You don’t really understand it, it’s scary, but yet um … but truthful real.”

Is it really so existent though? The New York Times interviewed unit and patrons astatine three Waffle House locations successful Rome, and recovered that, connected balance, nan reply is astir apt “no.” No 1 was “aware of anyone walking to nan 24-hour restaurants by paranormal means”.

There intelligibly aren’t immoderate teleportation machines tucked distant successful nan Fema offices because, alternatively of going backmost successful clip and preventing Phillips from making these embarrassing remarks, an agency spokesperson has claimed nan comments were taken retired of context. They “represent personal, informal, jovial, and somewhat belief discussions made successful nan discourse of hardly surviving cancer”, nan spokesperson told CNN.

Phillips, meanwhile, has tried to supply immoderate context, stating connected Truth Social that he was undergoing replacement treatments for crab and was “heavily medicated” erstwhile he discussed his different travel to Waffle House. “The connection ‘teleportation’ was not mine,” he said. “It was utilized by personification other successful nan speech reaching for connection to picture thing pinch nary easy name. The much meticulous biblical position are ‘translated’ aliases ‘transported’.”

Phillips’s teleportation (or transportation) claims look to beryllium a small excessively overmuch moreover for nan Trump administration, who person reportedly asked him to extremity posting astir the matter. Even nan president himself is befuddled. “What does teleport mean? Was he kidding?” Trump asked CNN past week erstwhile questioned astir nan statements.

If Phillips wants to support his occupation I reckon he should driblet each this teleportation business and commencement talking astir aliens instead. I don’t cognize if it’s because they’re hopeless for signs of intelligence life, but Republicans are obsessed pinch extraterrestrial activity. That includes JD Vance who, during a caller quality connected nan Benny Show podcast, told blimpish commentator Benny Johnson that he thought aliens were “demons”. He hasn’t “been capable to walk capable clip connected this”, Vance continued, but he has developed immoderate theories. “I deliberation that celestial beings who alert around, who do weird things to people. I deliberation that nan desire to picture everything celestial, everything is otherworldly, to picture it arsenic aliens,” Vance said. Maybe it was nan alien-demons who took Phillips to Waffle House?

If it was, you tin stake nan Republicans are going to get to nan bottommost of it. Maga whitethorn not beryllium fighting for cosmopolitan healthcare aliases cheaper prices, but they are moving very difficult to get nan Trump administration to uncover accusation astir each these demons circling nan Earth.

On Sunday, Tim Burchett, a Republican congressman from Tennessee, called connected Trump to merchandise authorities files connected aliens. “[P]eel backmost nan layers of that onion, fto America determine if we tin grip it,” Burchett urged. “I deliberation we tin grip it.”

Can we though? Because location seems to beryllium immoderate very troubling worldly going on. In a caller podcast episode, erstwhile Republican congressman Matt Gaetz, who was concisely Trump’s pick for US lawyer general, claimed that he had been briefed connected a concealed alien-human hybrid breeding programme erstwhile he was successful office. And Burchett himself erstwhile announced connected Fox News that nan aliens person exertion that could turn humans “into a charcoal briquette”.

The aliens whitethorn person precocious tech, but you cognize what they (probably) don’t have? Diet soda. While a batch of group person wondered really connected world Trump is truthful patient considering his junk nutrient diet, it looks for illustration we learned nan reply this week. According to comments by Mehmet Oz connected Donald Trump Jr’s podcast, nan president, who has galore different views astir medicine and health, thinks Diet Coke is a wellness elixir.

“Your dada argues that fare soda is bully for him because it kills writer – if poured connected writer – so, therefore, it must termination crab cells wrong nan body,” Oz said. “[M]aybe he’s connected to something,” Trump Jr replied. Or possibly he’s connected something. Still, Trump should astir apt tally his fare soda ideas by his wellness caput Robert F Kennedy Jr – who, arsenic we each know, has immoderate unorthodox ideas of his own: he once said that he thinks wifi causes a “leaky brain” and chemicals successful nan h2o proviso could move children transgender.

All of this whitethorn sound bonkers to nan layperson but possibly we should suspend our disbelief. After all, if nan 25th amendment can’t beryllium implemented, our only chance of Making America Sane Again mightiness beryllium an extraterrestrial intervention. Aliens, if you’re reference this: please travel sojourn nan US! We’ll springiness you a bully acold tin of cancer-busting soda and return you consecutive to our leader.

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Source theguardian.com
theguardian.com