4 weeks ago
Jon Stewart — aft getting nan news of nan night, that he was not invited to nan Met Gala, retired of nan measurement — group his sights connected nan continuing saga of “our situationship pinch Iran.”
“Is it a war? Is it a ceasefire? Are we friends pinch bomb-ifits? I don’t know,” he quipped astatine nan outset of Monday’s Daily Show monologue. “Because, arsenic you know, Friday marked nan expiration of nan 60-day free-trial play presidents get to do wars. After 60 days, nan president must inquire Congress, who past decides: Are we subscribing? Or, are we conscionable going to usage Israel’s password?”
In a Florida address made connected Friday, president Donald Trump indicated he didn’t request legislature support via nan War Powers Resolution arsenic he is calling it a subject operation.
“You almost person to respect nan brazenness of a president conscionable casually explaining … really to get astir our pesky, uh, laws,” Stewart said. “Just not a attraction successful nan world. It’s for illustration going up to a McDonald’s cashier: Yeah, I’m going to get a cup of water. Well, I opportunity water, it’s because I don’t for illustration to usage nan connection ‘soda.’ If I opportunity ‘water,’ I get it for free, but to beryllium clear, I will beryllium drinking soda. But my scheme is to usage nan connection ‘water,’ to debar any, what you call, costs problems.”
He continued, “Of course, Trump’s scheme only useful if he has nan subject to support his assertion that we are, successful fact, not successful a war.” The conception past seamlessly transitioned to a clip of Trump saying: “You know, we’re successful a war.”
“It’s for illustration he’s conscionable looking nan cashier successful nan eye, filling up his cup pinch soda. ‘I’m conscionable going to get a small Mountain Dew, a small Pepsi, small Hi-C — I’m going astir nan fucking world,'” Stewart commented.
The late-night big noted that Trump’s “royal ambitions” are “so bad that, past week, an existent king calved of nan lineage of kings we fought to found our law republic [Charles III], had to travel backmost present to punctual america to aftermath nan fuck up.”
Stewart concluded, “The Congress isn’t coming to prevention us. The judiciary isn’t coming to prevention us. The voters are being gerrymandered retired of being capable to prevention us. We’ve only sewage 1 past paper to play — our beautiful 4th estate.”
“Democracy dies successful darkness, truthful we look to nan free press, nan newsies,” he continued, arsenic his sound crescendoed successful volume, “the ink-stained wretches, nan masters of muckrake, nan clickety-clack brigade, tappers, rappers, Wolf Blitzers, titty twisters. We nan group dangle connected nan news media to bring nan reliable questions that clasp nan politicians accountable.”
After playing a clip of reporters connected nan White House section who dropped nan opportunity for a follow-up mobility to Trump stating that nan U.S. now someway has double nan rocket banal it did anterior to nan warfare against nan SWANA nation, Stewart urged: “We’re truthful fucked. And by nan way, what is nan constituent of having to outcry your questions, if you’re not gonna perceive to nan answers? We request you to thief america litigate nan boundaries of our reality.”
“If nan strongest defender of American populist is nan King of England, we are [exaggerating Charles III’s Received Pronunciation] really fucked,” he said, closing retired his monologue.
